On Little Round Top for the Second time

National Cemetery Illumination

A letter to my friends M and H:
 
The 12 hours I spent at Gettysburg were full of extra extra beyond ordinary moments. I wanted to share one  story from the day as a response to our conversation at dinner about war and veterans.
As we went deeper at dinner into the reasons why I am even  taking this journey, the questions that you each had of war and slaughter and support of soldiers were ones that I found haunting. I am not an 'historian' of the type that will remember the minute details of the battles. I realized after dinner that instead I have been for the past 6 months patiently 'listening' through my readings and  battlefield visits to the lives of soldiers and generals and all who were affected on both sides. 
You asked why  I wanted to participate in the Veterans Day ceremonies at Drexel.  It was to listen to people that I can be in LIVE conversation with.  It seems that we spend much time in our community doing 'interfaith dialogue and 'eliminating racism' dialogue' parsing our similarities and differences. Here is yet another group of people-men and women who go to war= that I  have opinions and feelings about-yet, how can I begin to talk with them unless I listen first. The Civil War was not univerally  popular in the 'north', Lincoln had his detractors just as the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.
So I have found that before I can say 'Ain't gonna study ( participate in) war no more" I have to actually "Study war".

Which brings me to one poignant experience at Gettysburg. Remembrance Day is an annual  time around the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address, when, I found out, dozens of commemorations take place throughout the park.  'Regiments' and devotees of specific people or battles take the morning to speak about and place wreaths at various monuments and statues. Later in the day there is a parade that includes both Union and Confederate re-enacters, sons and daughters associations, women in full hooped glory, 'widows' and regimental bands. (Lincoln was in the parade as well). After dark, candles in bags  set out beside every grave light the way in the cemetery for the traditional Illumination. For 3 hours, the names of the dead are read aloud.  And after THAT, I attended a program of words and music recounting the lives of the wounded left behind in the Old Lutheran Church that was used as an army hospital .

The story of importance here took place at 4 pm, dusk- standing on Little Round top, the site of the  final horrendous hand to hand combat battle in 1863.    

The scene  151 years later is a peaceful view of the mountains and fields surrounding Gettysburg, where  on the hilltop a regimental horn and drum band is playing lively songs that would have been heard in the soldiers' camps. Then the band leader points to the valley below and reminds us that the next set of  quiet hymns are for the men.
 
With the first notes, I feel a rush of energy coming up from the field below-as if the spirits of those who fought there are hearing the music from afar,roused to  gather round for the consolation that it might give them. What comes into my mind, what I hear myself wanting to say to them is :
"Please forgive us"  "PLEASE FORGIVE US"

Little Round Top at dusk

There is a narrow path that goes part way down the hill. Several people stand at various points on the path looking out in silence. I make my way down to whisper the Mourners Kaddish. To the tune of Amazing Grace the tears flow as the words Oseh Shalom B'mromav, Create peace, now would be good- are rolling off my tongue.  

At the cemetery, I have a chance to ask for forgiveness to individuals whose names are read aloud and to stand with the silent sentries as taps is played. And I remember my father, who was a veteran, but never spoke about it in his lifetime.


Thanks for being a part of this conversation. And for listening.